Jane的部門來了新同事,這同事的英文看似專業,寫的Email既長又多,Jane以為她的美國老闆以後一定會更願意和新同事溝通,因為其他人英文沒那麼好。但事實相反,老闆很少寫email給這位新同事,Jane後來才聽說,原來老闆說這樣的溝通太〝long-winded〞、〝old-fashioned〞。意思是太囉唆,沒完沒了,而且老派。
寫得更長、更複雜不代表英文更好。英語國家七O年代開始提倡簡單英語(plain English),大刀闊斧刪掉文謅謅的、打官腔的字眼。至於哪些些表達會讓人覺得囉唆又老派,來看一個例子:
As per our previous conversation, I am writing to follow up on our earlier decision on the marketing campaign in Q2. Attached herewith please find the revised proposal for your perusal. (就先前我們談過的,我寫信來是要追蹤我們先前對於第二季行銷活動的決定。附件是修正後的計劃書,請提供您寶貴意見。)
一句一句分解這段email,看看問題在哪裡:
1.As per our previous conversation就先前我們的談話
這個用法二十幾年很流行,很多每封Email的開頭都是〝as per〞,但時下商業溝通講求精簡,這樣說顯得老套,而且previous很多餘,直接用As we discussed/As discussed就好。
As per your request ... =>As you requested
As per our agreement ... =>As we agreed
As per your instructions ... =>As you instructed
2.Attached please find…附件是…
以前人們依賴紙本信件溝通,〝Enclosed please find….〞也曾經風行一時。但年輕一輩發現,根本沒有任何東西要〝find〞,這麼寫看起來像律師函,沒道理。還有人會用please see attached,這也不自然。現在大家更愛用I'm attaching/I've attached,或直接用Attached is…。
Attached please find the following receipt. =>Attached is the receipt. (附上收據)